Wow, it's been nearly a month since I've updated. I guess I've been spending a lot more time sweating than web surfing. That's a good thing. I'll report on my progress in that department later in the week. I also have an update and some pics to share from meeting Ree Drummond, The Pioneer Woman, a week or so ago.
But even though I've been letting so much slide by, I can't let the Oscars slide by without my two cents on the red carpet fashion, now could I? No, no, absolutely not. It's a tradition, just like Elton John throwing a party, or Oprah binging on mac and cheese.
I have to admit that I saw very few fashion disasters last night. There are usually a good handful of shock-value freaks out there, but not last night. In fact, I had a lot of trouble picking my favorites because there were so many.
Let's go for my losers first (because they're always the most fun!).
Of course, it wouldn't be an Oscar show without the perennial fashion freak, Helena Bonham Carter. I know that she wants to be known for her acting and not her fashion, but her consistant over-the-top, cartoonish freak fashion ends up being exactly what overshadows her acting abilities. So when she says it's all about the acting and not the fashion for her, I call bullshit!
Missing this year was fellow fashion freak, Tilda Swinton. I was kind of disappointed, as she's always good for a laugh. Sharon Stone actually decided to dress appropriately this year, which I'm sure was a bummer for the straight men out there.
Let's move on to Florence Welch. When she performed, her gown was gorgeous and really complemented her hair. This one? It looks like she and her stylist had to beat up Nellie Olson from Little House on the Prarie for the dress. Could that color be any more wretched? Baby poop colored ruffles. No, I think not.
How about Celine? I don't know why, but this just looks so 1970's Jane Fonda to me. Me no likey. She looks old to me here (but compared to her husband, she looks eternally young!). I have to give the chick props, however, she had twins just five months ago. Who are we kidding. Any woman who willingly gives birth to twins in her late 40's deserves props (and a lot of Xanax or Grey Goose...wait, that's her husband).
Anette Bening. I used to love her, but as she's gotten older she's got that "F-You, I married Warren Beatty and I don't give a crap anymore" look. I admire that attitude to some degree, but at the Golden Globes she was a scary hot mess and last night was not much better. I swear I've seen this dress on clearance at JCPenney.
Scarlett. If I had just split with Ryan Reynolds, I would probably crawl in bed and never get up for two months as well. The dress is okay (doesn't do that bangin' body much justice), but pick up a hair brush. I hope you picked up a toothbrush.
And Giuliana. Girl, I think you're really great and the Chrisian Siriano dress is really cool, but you look horrid. I swear she is so skinny that she looks like she's got a terminal disease. Her shoulders/collar bones/arms look like she just flew in to LA from Starvation City. She should ditch the Jersey Shore tan too. GTL.
Over on the opposite end of the starvation spectrum, Thanksgiving comes to mind...dressed and OVERSTUFFED. Pass the mac and cheese, if there is any left. Shannon said that her hair looked like an ungroomed standard poodle.
Now for some highlights. Like I said, I had a tough time choosing my faves becase there were so many. Let's start with my favorite of the night...Halle Berry. For years I've been saying that she is the most beautiful woman in the world, hands down, and she can look smashing in anything. She may have bad luck with men, but it's obvious that she's got it going on with her stylist.
I really loved all the soft colors with sparkle last night.... How cute is Haylee Steinfeld? She's only 14. That dress is every girl's dream, isn't it? She was so poised and charming too.
My other faves of the night. Anne Hathaway had someting like 1000 gowns on last night and they were all fabulous. She's another one of those chicks that could make a Kroger bag look chic. Sandra Bullock's dress was gorgeous, but something about her bothered me last night. She looked old, or sad, or something. I know it's been a rough year for her. I wish her the best. Anyhow, here are some more of my favorites from last night, including Camilla Alves, Matthew McConnehey's girlfriend's dress. Bow chicka wow WOW! He's pretty good too.
I admit that I was underwhelmed by Nicole Kidman (who I always think is amazing), Amy Adams, and Natalie Portman. I really didn't like Gweneth Paltrow's dress at all, but it's probably because I really don't like her. She can choke on a celery stick for all I care. The guys all looked fantastic, with the exception of Christian Bale, who I think was getting ready to audition for a remake of Jeramiah Johnson, or the Abomadable Snowman. I was disappointed to not see Brangelina, George Clooney (but he's here instead!), Cameron Diaz, and Katy Perry.
Who were your pics and pans?