I was talking to a friend on the phone last night. She asked me what I had been doing all weekend, and I told her that we worked basically all weekend finishing up our lawn and garden chores. We put in literally hours and hours of work this year getting the place all shaped up. When she called me a "gardening goddess", I nearly spit out my Crystal Light.
The truth is, I detest gardening, and it gets worse every year. I only do it because everybody else in my neighborhood seems to love it (or pays somebody else to do it for them) and I don't want my yard to look like The Clampett's yard. We all have those neighbors, you know the ones I'm talking about. I would rather do my gardening work than be that neighbor. It's all about priorities, of course.
This time of year it's not so bad. The lure of the lovely plants at the garden store suck me in with their crazy color and bug free foliage. I don't even mind planting much. It is nice to see some color in the yard after the long winter season. And I really love my roses and peonies, they are spectacular every year, and I don't need to do much to get them that way.
Sadly, it's all down hill from there. My roses, have only been blooming for about two weeks, and the spider mites are attacking them already. My pink vinca plants have been eaten down to nothing already by some kind of bug. Grrrr. Clay soil, blazing hot summers with no rain, spider mites, japanese beetles, tomato worms, critters of all kinds, and the damn deer have really put me off on the joy of plant care. I don't even bother with hosta or impatiens anymore. They're just deer snacks. Two years ago, when it was super dry, the deer even ate my roses, big nasty hairy thorns and all. They didn't care.
For several years, I've been trying to grow one solitary tomato plant. I LOVE fresh tomatoes, but evidently, the deer, the squirrels, and the raccoons like them even more than I do, and they help themselves. When I try to plant a tomato in the front (where it's sun 90% of the time), I fight a losing battle with critter control and blazing heat. In the back, I get no sun. Here's last year's spectacular effort:
That's pathetic, isn't it. Yeah, it's okay. Go ahead and laugh.
But hope does spring eternal, right? Every May I get all excited, thinking that this might be the year I really get a decent tomato. This year I'm trying the Topsy Turvy Tomato growers and hanging them off the deck in the back. They don't get a great amount of sun, but they won't get a great amount of critters either. So we'll see how it goes.
Not too long ago we had a world-renowned speaker in at ACME, and he was big on daily, positive affirmations. So I was thinking that maybe I'm just too negative about gardening. Maybe instead of my "I hate gardening" point of view, I should wake up every day, look in the mirror and say, "I am a great gardener! I will have lovely tomatoes this year! I have a green thumb! Deer and tomato worms are God's creatures and they deserve love too!".
Maybe if I keep saying these, I'll learn to believe it. In the meantime, I'll continue to water, water, water; weed, weed, weed; and most likely gripe, gripe, gripe. I hate gardening.